Sunday, September 6, 2009

Lessons

isn't it amazing when your friends and family has drilled something into your head so deep to the point where you actually realize they are right? And then you use these life experiences to teach those around you the exact same thing they taught me. My best friend at college has gotten so hurt by this girl (her roommate from last year 1st half). And this girl continuously hurts her. **back down memory lane with the whole Dani sitch** My friend is sticking up with it because she still has this hope that maybe her ex-roomie will change.. maybe she can change her. And my advice- what my mother told me when I didn't want to listen- you can't change anyone only God can change them. But she still has that hope, so she will continue to climb this aweful mountain and be pushed down and hurt to try and save a persons eternal life.

so.. isn't it funny to find the advice you refused to listen to for so long turns out to be the advice that you give someone else?

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Colorado pt. 2

so, today was the first day of the actual book convention out in Colorado. But, I got to see these really cool Christian art, and meet a sweet artist. As I looked through his art work, I almost began to cry at the fact that I never really understood about Jesus, until I see it in person. And he portrayed things so well....


here's one of his works, it is called "Calvary"

if you get a chance go to art4god.com and look at it closer! This one brought tears to my eyes, it made my heart skip a beat, and my feet unable to move. Because of my past, I never realized that when I was hurting and abusing my body, I was doing the exact same thing to Jesus. The pain portrayed in his face made me feel horrible for the things I've done. I have hurt myself for so long, in the past, and I never really have gone back to think about how I have actually hurt Jesus. As I was doing it as a way to find feeling again... in one sense or another, I was okay with hurting myself, but I'm not okay with hurting Jesus. He is the only one who I know will always be there for me through thick and thin.

this is what the author wrote about this picture... and I find it incredibly insightful to dwell on.

Broken hearts, broken homes, broken lives, and broken connections with God.
It is our lust to satisfy ourselves that slowly seduces us to destroy that same ‘self’ which we held in such high esteem. And it is only the tragedy of ‘self’ never transcending into unselfishness that so deceives us with the false freedoms we cherish above all else.
In one moment the threshold is crossed and we are lost.
Lost in the belief of our own power. Lost in the belief of our own strength and lost in our ability to recognize it.
We serve ourselves at the cost of others until there is only one unselfish person left who will intercede and sacrifice himself to endure our private hell.
Only God can go where all the doors are held shut by the enemy. Only God will stay even when the devil himself finally walks out on you. Only God will share in the fullness of your sufferings and never forsake you.
And ultimately it is only the lost ‘self’ that can lose everything and eventually tell, what they believed was a helpless God, to go to hell.

Goodnight! Love you all!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Colorado

So I have been travelling around Colorado with my Mother this past few days. The scenery has been excellent, and I love driving around the mountains and looking at the view. It gives me time to think and have "Lexi" time, since Mom sleeps most of the time. Pictures will come in due time...

But this trip is really only beginning.

I met my aunt for the first real time! She is excellent and hillarious! With her, there was no dull moment. But after we went our separate ways my mind became filled with thoughts of why she never made any effort to take time to see our family. She seems so outgoing and easy to get along with, but yet I feel like she won't go visit our family and idk why.

anyways, Mom's asleep, and we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.

goodnight, and I love you all!